I think that the worst feeling in the world is when you realize that you and someone you love have nothing in common anymore. The knowing that you have grown apart and there's nothing you can do to fix it. So sad. more later. maybe

Half a person

Today I took the day off from being a person. I would usually feel guilty doing nothing all day but I really feel like I deserved it. I've been so overworked this past week it's kinda crazy.

I just met 2 deadlines for a magazine in 5 days. I also had to go to my bosses' party, as well as a birthday party for a friend's friend, and a going away party.

My boss had some photographers at his party to document the night. The pictures were finally posted today, and I'm happy to say that they are all tame. Only thing is that this one photog was snapping me grabbing parts of my friends and other non kosher stuff that wouldn't please my poppa. I'm not sure which website this guy works for but I'm a little anxious because shots of me grabbing boobs and showing too much cleveage is probably maybe on the interweb right about now.

I take back the not being a person thing. I submitted a project to the mag and also hit a bar with my roomie. But I did sleep till 2Pm. So I guess that I was half a person.

I need to sleep bc I have A LOT to do tomorrow. I have a guest coming whom I need to entertain. She's a complainer so I've got a long day ahead of me. On the upside: I have a hot date. A cute and kinda crazy C-List celeb. woohoo.

TFF

it is right smack in the middle of the Tribeca Film Festival, which is amazing this year, and i feel like I'm constantly on the go again. I have a different screening almost everyday, but today I'm "off". If you are looking to pee in your pants, I reccomend that you see "Fifty Pills"

On a sketchier note, my roommate and i suspect my boss of trying to have an affair with me. Details to come.

Bad Game

Last night on our way to Lit some of my friends decided to take a ciggy break in front of CBGB's. While we were standing there a guy came up to me and asked if he could have a female perspective to an odd question; would I be mad if my boyfriend had almost nude pics of his ex girlfriend on his wall?

I feel like that can't be answered so simply. It's situational. For each situation it's different. Does he still love the ex? For what reason is he keeping the pics up? I felt like it couldn't be answered so that's what I told him.

He told me he was bored of CBGB's, where would I recommend to hop to? I told him that i didn't know (beacuse I wasn't about to invite a stranger who I was not at all attracted to out with me) he asked where I was going, I said Lit. He grabbed my hand, read my palm and told me that my palm says that I have a big ego. OK. Definately not getting good vibesw from this one.

Later on that night who do I see at Lit pulling the same game on another girl as he pulled on me? Mr. palm reader. First the question about naked pics, then the palm. This guy really needs to step up his game. Also, why the fuck did he go to Lit? stalker much?

I love my job

During my break from blogging, I got a new job at a PR firm. Every person there is under the age of 33 and good looking. Also, we get paid to go out and drink for free. Enough said.

On a more disturbing note, one of my co workers met Jake Gyllenhaal last wknd while she was drunk. The story as told by her:
"I saw him standing like 10 feet away from me and I grabbed my friend and started pointing and screaming 'look theres Jake Gyllenhaal!!!!!' He came up to us and said hi and shook my hand, but i guess that I wasn't satisfied with that. I grabbed his arm and started licking it. It tasted good, and I was too drunk to realize that this was weird or to observe his reaction."


Yeah, I'm jealous. Just a little.

Side Note

I know, I really shouldn't make excuses for my lack of updates, but I feel the need to tell. One additional reason, was this guy who we like to call "MET". Well he became addicted to me. I'm not trying to sound concieted but he was just over the top. I didn't like him the way he liked me, I actually started to not like him at all, and it wore me down. And trust me, you do not want to read about me complaining about met's stalkerish activities everyday.

so be happy for the hiatus. i'm refreshed and Met free now! Don't worry, I'll totally post the entertaining out there drama that met and I got into when I was trying to shoo him away. Some of the stuff is tres entertaining.

so worn out

It's crazy how busy I've been these past 2 weeks. I feel like I've been working double time, and I probably have if I counted the hours. Also, I was talking to my friend today and I realized that not only have I been working overtie in the job dpt, but also in the dating dept. Without even realizing it, I am currently dating 4 guys, and that just makes me sick. First one to go: Met. His bye bye is long overdue.

I have to finish up work, but definately more later, and I know Its almost midnight on a Sat. Sad but true I have work to do since I put it off on thurs and fri and went out. Stupid me.

walk the line

Joaquin Phoenix is my new "boyfriend". I never realized how fucking georgeous he is. I'm not obsessed. I promise. But I did watch 'Walk The Line' a few too many times.



I'm off to make out with the hot chick....

...

It's Weds. which means that I'm depressed because theres no Project Runway tonight. In my opinion, that show was the only good thing on TV right now. I'm so sad that it's over. I need to find nother show, but thats so hard when theres all the crap that the networks are trying to sell us now. Wow, I sound like my grandmother.

I still haven't made a dent in my work that's due at 10 tonight, so thats what I'm going to be doing all day. ugh.

But after 10: I'm free. And yes i'm going to party drink and who knows what else. I have plans to go to the bar where the girl works at, so maybe...

I don't want to jinx anything.

Blair on TV

The other week i did a little filming for a TV show. Intelligent me totally forgot when they were airing it, and I fully missed the show. Totally sucks. Hopefully the Food Network is as good about playing re-runs as Bravo is.

Week Recap

Ok, so since i haven't been posting whats up with me lately, i think that I'm going to do a quick recap to catch ya'll up with little miss blair.

This past week I...

-Saw Met's penis. It's an ugly one. I'm not attracted to him or it, which means that it went right back into his shorts after I pulled it out.

-Went to CBGB's. so fucking sad that their closing it down.

-Went to Don Hill's, Sapphire, and Happy Valley. also to the bar where the hot bartender works. We have plans for next week.

-Went to a charity event. charity events = good karma.

-Bought a rediculously hot dress from Marc Jacobs. Nowhere to wear it yet. I need to find a hot bitch to take me out.

- Drank more than usual. also, did more drugs than usual. I found a new dealer who has excellent blow, so I'm very excited about that.

-Bumped into my actor friend on the street. He looks hotter than last time I saw him. New plastic maybe?

-Bumped into a guy who took me out on a few dates who I wasn't feeling. Yes, It was akward. He just texted me and I think that I'm not going to respond. Also, I bumped into a girl that I went to High School with on the L train. How random?

- Had a rooftop party. We drank wine and French Liquor and pretended that we were 40. Fucking adoreable.

"Met"

So this guy who I like to call "met"...

I have a total love/hate relationship with him, only thing is that this love/hate thing is internal. He doesn't know about it. I feel too bad telling him "look, I do not like you more than a friend", but i feel bad for leading him on too. I know, I should stop this before it's too deep and he's hurt, but i need to find the right time.

there will never be a right time. sucks, doesn't it?

He's not a bad guy, but he just doesn't do it for me. there's no "fireworks", and i totally need the fireworks for me to commit to one guy. Yes, sad but true, but it's very hard for me to stay monogomous.

So this is my current dilemma, but at least I have an apt now.

back, finally

Ok i know i've been MIA this whole month so far. so sorry.

I moved!!! fucking finally! 10014. West Village. and I'm so fucking happy.

I just finished settling and all that stuff so regular updates to resume next week. for now all that you need to know is that i'm back downtown after a month long hiatus uptown.

quick catchup

I'm actually staying in tonight to catch up on some work that i need to do.
March 1st deadline. fuck. I'm so screwed. I always go out a lot but lately it's been excessive and I'm totally drained. Too bad. I have busy nights planned tomorrow, and the day after that (thurs)

So a quick catchup/ recap of recent events:
- I am still living uptown, hopefully that will soon change
- Strokes concert tomorrow and Sat. I am v. excited. There is a thrid one shcedueled but I'm not that obsessive. Plus, tha strokes are my "closet band". I don't shout from the rooftops that I liek them, even though I do. alot.
- The boy aka "met". ugh. Like i know I "liked" him alot but i "liked" him before i even knew him. Maybe I liked the idea of him. I think that I liked theway he presents himself, he shows himself in a very well marketed way at first, but when you really get to know him you see it's a facade and he's just a little too weird, full of himself, pompous, and arrogant. Just ew. enough about him.
- The other day i met a guy while I was chain smoking and this thurs we are going on a double date. Him, I, My best friend, his best friend. He's cute. That's all that i can say about him at this point.
- Girl Bartender hottie. She's hot. She's an awesome person with positive energy and just fun to be around. She's a 100% lesbian which is a little intimidating since I've considered myself straight all my life, but we'll see where this goes...

For the record I never kissed, sucked or fucked "Met", so why is getting rid of him so f'ing hard?

tomorrow!!!

words just can't express how excited I am for tomorrow night's strokes concert. and this officially makes me a nerd or a wannabe 14 year old.

last night

misshapes at don hill's is still good. after all these years they still have crazy parties that don't go out of style in 5 months like most other places. But everytime i go i notice more and more 16 year old wannabe's and it's really starting to bother me. the little high school bad fake id crew that try a little too hard to be cool and just fall short. Please Thomas, these kiddies are just a little lame.

So I went to misshapes for a few hours, and then went to a loft party around the corner. who did i see drinking beer and sweeping the floor? Heather, Santino's model on project runway. And yes, she was really pretty, and also very nice.

I do not watch American Idol

Ok careful wording. Careful wording is key in this post. I need to write this so that i can dish my point without revealing too much. i don't need a lawsuit from an ex lover as a result of this.

So let's start out by saying that I don't believe in American Idol. I believe that it is pre-determined and that the voting thing is just to make you feel involved and give the show an edge. "Rigged" may be the right word that I'm looking for. I think the show is cheezy and that most of the talent is just middle of the road- averege.

The boy I've been talking to watches it.
(Time out. I need a better name than "the boy". From now on he will be referred to as "Met")
Ok, so Met watches Idol. I'm not going to trash the show anymore just because i know that for some reason a lot of people enjoy it. He told me that some of the people this season are good. I decided to watch. I don't give a fuck about the girls because I prefer listeing to male voices. I downloaded some clips to see who I like and I've decided to root for Bucky, then Chris, and then Ace. In that order.

By rooting for them I mean that I wish them the best and that is all. I will probably not watch the show and I will definately not campaign / vote for them.

Now heres a question to all ya'll. Have you ever been totally positively sure that you are 100% over someone? Yes? Me too. I'm totally positive that I'm over this guy, (diff guy, we're not talking about Met anymore), but this monster of a show triggers something within me that brings back a feeling in me linking back to "him". We will call this "him" "Wannabe Rock Star."

I Don't want "Wannabe Rock Star" anymore, nor do I miss him, but since "Wannabe Rock Star" is so closely connected and linked to this show, watching it brings back all the hurt feelings, lies, and deceit that I felt fom him not too long ago. All of the fucked up things that this guy did come rushing back and make me sad. angry. The hurt feels new, and because of that I do not think that I will be able to tune into American Idol anymore.

That is all. Goodnight. I'm off to Lit in a few but I'm probably going to hop around tonight, so who knows where I'll end up.

Runway Reunion

Who else was dissapointed by the runway Reunion last night? To me it was underwhelming and a hate on Santion fest. not cool in my book.

drunky

Warning: this is another drunk post. Thank god for spell check.

I just got back from The Cellar and had a lovely night. I just found another apt to look at in the W.Village. I'm so proud of myself that I'm actually apt hunting and not just complaining about living uptown without doing anything about it.

The more I think about it the more that I want the hottie girl bartender. I'm seeing her on Sunday. The cute boy is doing ok. We talk for approx 3 hours a day without even having phone sex. I'm seeing him tomorrow or the day after.
I rather fuck her than him.

Tonight I realized that the no smoking indoors rule in NYC is officially dead. Everyone does it and no one cares. There was a Wolfmother concert at Mercury Lounge that I missed and I'm pissed about that. I have a piece of meat passed out in my bed right now and I'm debating with the idea of pushing them a little so that i have room on the bed too or just sleeping on the floor

he's cute, she's hot

I haven't been this exhausted in a long long time. I was on the phone with the boy till 430 last night. Up and out at 930 this morning, only to return home now, 215 AM.

But it goes a little something like this.. I like the boy. Awesome personality. Fun to be around. Only thing is that he's "cute". By "cute" I mean not exactly my type and good looking to some people, but he doesn't totally do it for me. Good enough to get by, and definately not hideous. "Cute". But I won't let this aspect get in the way if it's meant to be because like I said.. I like the boy. I like him enough thus far that being shallow is silly, and he really is adoreable

Not only do I like the boy, but I like the girl too. What girl? This bartender at a bar that I go to a lot. She's a hottie and she thinks the same of me. We'll see where this goes...

Something different

I actually like this guy and I haven't even banged him yet. Wtf is wrong with me?

Usually its bang bang bang peace. This is definately nothing like that. It's like a real domestic realtionship. I have to admit that I'm a little werided out but I do like it. Or maybe it's just him that I like. I think thats it. I like this guy.

I'm off to Don Hill's soon and I think that I'm going to put my bad girl panties back on just for the night.

I hope that I didn't jinx it...

Ok so I'm so over uptown right about now that theres almost nothing more to say about it. I'm just done, time to move on. Pronto por favor.

I bar hopped up here from bar to bar to bar 4 times, and I still didn't have as much fun as I would if I was at one place on the Lower East Side.

I've been here 3 weeks and I'm already bored with the way way upper west side.

Lets cross our fingers that this place in Nolita that I'm looking at works out. Thats all I'm saying about the Nolita place though because I believe in jinxes and this is not something that I want to jinx.
Also, something else that I don't want to jinx.. Theres a boy that i like and this is a big deal beacuse I haven't actually liked a boy in a long time. Usually I act as if they are disposeable and never get attached but this time I think that i'm actaully getting that cliche "butterfly feeling". ugh.

Countdown

two more hours until we find out "the final three headed to fashion week" even though everyone in the know realizes that that's bs and that all 4 of them really made it to the fashion week show last Friday.

I'm off to the usual Weds. night Project Runway party at my friend's apt with an endless supply of grey goose and red wine. If my 2 faves (Santino/DanielV) make it past this cut I'm off to Sapphire to celebrate. and if one of them gets cut, after I recover I guess that I'm still off to Sapphire to drink enough so that i can't even remember the episode.

Just a Little Too Obsessed

How sad is it that I'm prefectly content with not going out on Weds. as long as I get to watch Project Runway? You know that the obsession has gone too far when I no longer care about partying because there is something that I prefer to do more that doesn't involve sex.

I'll be cured and back to normal in approximately 3 weeks when this show is sadly over.

Valentine's Recap

My Valentine's day was so interesting that I took a 5 hour nap to make it pass by faster. Kidding. I did take the nap, but only because i was tired. The day wasn't that great though. Valentine's Night is when it got interesting.

Around 8 I get a knock knock on my door from some guy that lives down the hall from me with chocolate asking me to be his valentine. How sweet. After we talked for 5 minutes and agreed to meet up on Sunday for a movie I got ready making sure not to wear pink or red because that would be just too cliche, and met up with everyone at my friend's apt. My planned Valentine, not the suprise knock knock at 8 PM guy was there, and for the record he is not straight which makes him super fabulous, but it also makes it super sad that i had to resort to my main gay for my valentine.

We went to Fat Baby's for the most retro v-day celebration ever. Why Fat Baby's? Only because they were serving jello shots. Yes, jello shots, the alternitave way of getting drunk without actually drinking that you probably haven't had since 10th grade. I brought out my inner 15 year old and partied like it was 2001.