I’m on my way out to a bar on Bond Street right now, so before I’m too intoxicated to post I want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I’m leaving my city early tomorrow morning to stay with some friends on Long Island to celebrate 2006 with. I’ll be back Sunday with some fun stories. My friends are already expecting a strip show from me, so this should be fun.

I just got back from seeing “Mrs. Henderson Presents” and I didn’t love it. It was a good movie but I’ve definitely seen better. The storyline is OK, it’s basically about a lady who buys a theater and pushes the culture barriers but having nude women in her play. The beginning seems rushed, and the ending is predictable, but it still is a good movie. It’s a really good look at life in London during WWII and having to live in fear of air raids all the time. I think that I was the only person in the theatre under 30 years old, which made me feel a little out of place, but for some reason I wanted to see this movie. I’m happy that I saw it, but as soon as I walked out I called my grandparents and recommended it for them to see. They would like it better than I did.

I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to take myself on a date. I'm seeing "Mrs. Henderson Presents" at the Angelika theatre on W. Houston , but before the movie I want to have lunch with myself.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a good place to eat alone where I won't stand out as the only solo diner, around the soho/noho/e.village area?
thanks.

See Paris touch herself..

I'm too drunk right now to post about my night with B, so instead I'll leave you with something insanely hot to look at.

I couldn’t sleep last night and I was so bored at around 3:30 that I went to get out my bunny vibrator for some fun. After looking for about 10 minutes I concluded that I left the bunny in Vermont last weekend. There’s no way I’m calling the lodge telling them to look for it to see if it‘s there b/c that’s just embarrassing, but I’m so pissed. I have other vibrators but I’m still sad because this one was so damn cute.

So what did I do? I made a booty call. All the way to Brooklyn. This wouldn’t be so bad on a Friday or Saturday night, but at 3:30/4 on a Tuesday, technically Weds. morning, it’s beyond ridiculous. I woke the boy up and told him to come to my apartment and “fill me”. (Yes, I was on something at this point. ) It worked though. He came over and I got the late night sex that I craved, and yes, it was good. He always is.

The sick part: I don’t feel bad about calling him at a ridiculous time (4 AM) and making him travel 15 minutes. I would feel bad for anyone else, but I doubt that I would ask this of anyone except for him. This is a guy who had me take a car service to a different state at a ridiculous time (he paid, I wasn‘t giving $200 just to see him and his band mate pass out within 20 min of my arrival), and is the only guy that I’m doing that doesn’t live in Manhattan. I have to take the 1 train to the L, and the L train to the other side off the river just to see him. Usually my fucks are within a 5 min train ride. I think that we have an understanding that this type of unacceptable behavior is OK, which makes him my favorite booty call. Oh, and he’s hot too, which helps, and is also kinda famous, but I don’t like thinking about that, otherwise I’ll get kinda nervous.

Ok, so i just walked in my door from a quick/late bar run with some friends, and guess what? another ex-fucker just called me telling me that he's coming into the city from long island tomorrow night. Honestly, why in the past week do 2 ex boyfriends, 1 ex fuck buddy, and 1 ex something (the guy that called tonight was in bewteen f.buddy and bf)come into my city and call me? This is too stressful for me. I know it probably sounds like i have a million ex fucks, but I really don't.

I grew up in a nice little sheltered family that taught me that boys have cooties and that up the shirt before i'm 17 is a no-no, and before I moved into my own apt I was not even half as jaded and fucked up as I am now. I knew 3/4 of these guys BEFORE I moved out, when I could still count the # of guys I slept with on 1 hand. Basically if you don't want to become corrputed quickly, don't move into your own apt in NYC at a young age.(i.e. 18), and party drink and drug every night.

So yea, I agreed to see "B" tomorrow night. I know that I'm an idiot for making a plans with a guy who hurt me TWICE. not once, 2 times. What the fuck am I getting myself into? Well at least i know not to get attatched to him this time. This is just for fun since it seems like all my firends left for Miami a week earlier than I planned.

Hollywood's top 10 orgasms

enjoy.

I promise, I’ll try to make this my last “Brokeback Mountain” post.

I caved in. I saw it again today. Every time I wake up early I see a movie. It’s like I’m conditioned to do that now. It’s like a mindset.
I wake up early = I see a movie.
So today I chose Brokeback Mountain as my AM movie, again, for the third time. I really need to chill. I think I’m becoming obsessed.
I really can’t think of another movie that has moved me the way that Brokeback does. All 3 times that I’ve seen it I walk out of the movie just thinking, thinking all day about the movie. I’ve tried to get everyone I know to see it, because I feel like if I never saw it I would be missing out on something great. All day I’ve been thinking about it, and even thought the ending is so sad, I decided today that this was the best way to end it. I don’t want to ruin it for everyone, but if they gave us the fairytale ending, the movie wouldn’t have been as good.
What makes me so sad is how so many people that I know and love don’t want to see this movie just because it’s “the gay cowboy movie” , it’s so much more than just that, and I hate how my friends could be so narrow-minded. This makes me very sad.
I’m going to try and wait at least until next year to see it again. I think that I can hold out. It’s not like I’m taking away sex. Just Brokeback.

P.S. Heath Ledger will win an Oscar for this. I hope.

I've always wondered what a male orgasm feels like. In comparrison to a girl's does it feel the same or different? more intense? less? better?
Do all girl orgasms feel the same for all girls? Or do some girl's feel different?
Do guys ever wonder what sex feels like for a girl?
This is one of those questions that no one will ever know the answer to. I think that it's impossible to explain to someone else exactly what an orgasm feels like for you.

Why am I thinking about this?

Last weekend I took a road trip to Vermont to go skiing with my friends. I really think that I’m allergic to anything that isn’t a city. I guess it’s due to ADD or ADHD or whatever selfdiagnosed thing I have but when I’m not in a city I get insanely bored that not even my vibrator can keep me entertained. No joke. I got bored of orgasming with a buzzing metal bunny, because in a 2 day period I did it too many times. That can't be good for me.
I’m back in the city now and very happy. I don’t even feel bad that I’m not going out tonight. I didn’t sleep much this weekend because my friends and I boozed at the lodge until 6 AM for the past 2 nights, so I’m going to catch up on my sleep tonight and refresh myself so that I can have fun tomorrow.
The nights in Killington were fun though. I was just going crazy during the day. Skiing doesn't aggree with me. You would have laughed your ass off seeing me try to get up.

I just watched the movie “Me and You and Everyone We Know” for the first and second time. Back to back, but not because I loved it so much (at first) that I had to see it twice. After watching it the first time, I felt like it just ended so unsettling that I needed to watch it again knowing the ending, to see how it fit in with everything. After seeing it twice I’m now Ok with the ending. It is still unfulfilling to me, but I think that’s how the director wanted it. I liked the movie. It was really good, and I’m just sharing my opinion because after googling this movie, people seem to have strong feelings of love and hate for this movie. I’m more on the love side for this one.

Last night was very strange, but only because I feel like it happened twice. I totally know now what people mean when they say that they have deja vous. I was getting ready to see the other ex, when my phone rang. It was an ex fuck buddy calling, telling me that he was in my neighborhood, and wanted to say hi for a few minutes.
Translation: He wanted a quickie.
I was irked enough about seeing one guy that I was less than thrilled to see, so 2 put me into a slightly bitchy mood. I greet him and he goes straight for the hookup, and i surprise him by pushing him away. I suggest starbucks to make things quick since I had someplace to be an hour. I order my usual, a chai latte, and he has the nerve to make fun of me, saying "who the fuck drinks chai?" We go back to my apt and he invites himself in. He comments on my tits, saying that they looked good in the shirt i was wearing and bothers me to flash him. I'm totally fine with showing my goods, but he was irritating me so much that I wouldn't do it. He left, and his parting words were that I'm not fun anymore...
thanks buddy.. fuck you.
So I go meet this other guy for food. we catch up, so far it's fine. i want to be done so that I can meet up with my friends and have some real fun with people that I really want to be with. we go back to my place put the tv on and do a little something. I really wasnt feeling it and he could tell. he lays off, but only temporarily.
When we are saying goodbye he flashes me his ugly ugly dick. Then he bothers me for a solid 5 minutes saying "i flashed you mine, now you flash me yours."
NO!! go away. I had enough of this flashing bullshit tonight.
I went out with my friends (finally) and salvaged the night by drinking slightly too much.

Anyways.. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! I'll be back after the wknd.

Heres to anyone that knows anything about baseball...
Apparently Johnny Damon has a new look since he will be a Yankee soon and I have to admit that I like it a lot better than his old one. I love guys with long hair, but not on Johnny. It just helped him look like a caveman.

Before


after

Last night I got home around 530 and right as I'm getting into bed, my phone plays "pour some sugar on me", which means that I have a new text message. It was another ex boyfriend who is in NYC right now, too. Why are my ex's coming to my city this week? It's not healthy for me. I promised not to waste my time on ex's anymore, but I guess I'll let myself see this guy once. It will be a catchup followed by a quickie. I won't make it an all night thing, since it's Friday. Everyone I know goes out on Friday and I'm not going to waste it on an ex that I never really liked in the first place. This should be an interesting dinner.

30 Things About Moi

1- I’m not a dumb slut, I just enjoy sex a lot.
2- Even though it’s so old and overused that the silicon is peeling off, I can’t part with my first vibrator
3- I love the music that’s played in Urban Outfitters--- yet i hate the store
4- When I’m drunk I like to strip and give lap dances. Especially if you slip $$ into my bra
5- I heart NY
6- After NY, my favorite place is South Beach
7- I love to read. My favorite authors are: Bret Easton Ellis, Jay McInery, Nick Hornby, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Tennessee Williams
8- When I was 14 I exchanged a BJ for $$
9- I like boys, but girls turn me on
10- I consider my self straight even though I know that I’m slightly bisexual
11- As of right now, my favorite bars/clubs are: Serafina, the Dark Room, 12”, Happy Ending, The Blind Tiger, Cain
12- My favorite restaurants are: Balthazar, Butter, Time Café, Lucky Strike, Havana, Antique Garage
13- From my own experience, celebrities are not the best kissers
14- I’m obsessed with all perfumes by Bond No 9
15- I don’t understand why people like MTV
16- I need a chai latte from starbucks everyday
17- I do not enjoy anal sex, and I’m not one of those chicks that pretends that they like it, yet if I like you I will do it.
18- I don’t believe in counting how many people you sleep with
19- I like younger guys
20- I also like guys that are way too old for me
21- I think the sexiest thing to wear is a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress
22- I think meat is gross
23- I model
24- I love David Bowie, especially Ziggy Stardust
25- Cocaine is my drug of choice
26- I’m a 34C
27- I don’t like beer
28- I don’t like frat boys. They are lame for thinking that they are cool just because they have greek letters on their jacket and can drink a 6 pack in 20 min.
29- Yoga is fun
30- The Paris Hilton porn tape is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Theres a lot more, but I'll share later, right now I'm off to party at V Bar without the ex. I'm keeping to what I said yesterday and giving it a break.

I'm not sure why, but even I am a bit disturbed by this picture

http://socialitelife.com/mt/archives/the_gastineau_girls.php

It's wrong in so many ways, starting with the size of the model's arms and ending with having 2 naked girls not turn me on.

I can't fucking sleep tonight. I wonder why.
It looks like I'm not going to get any sleep at all tonight and I'm going to be tired cranky and ugly today. I mean I'm fine with all nighters if it's for a cause, (a cause being a party or something like that) but this is an all nighter spent alone at home. Kinda sad.
I'm trying not to be a bitter New Yorker when it comes to this strike, but it relly needs to end now. It's making people a little too animalistic for my taste, and it will irritate me mucho when I go out today sans sleep.

I think that I need to chill out a little and quit the ex. This is turning into an every day thing, which isn’t good b/c he’s leaving in 2 weeks. How does it look that when he’s in town I drop everything and see him everyday? He’s going to think that I’m either not over him, or that I have no life. Both aren’t the case. It’s just that he’s really good in bed, and for some twisted reason, in NYC that’s hard to find sometimes.
I’ve been broken up with him since 2003 so we’ve both changed a lot since we were together, which means that we can never get back together since we are different people than who we were when we fell in love. I mean since we broke up he’s had to go to rehab for too much pixie dust, so we can no longer have blow parties together. How sad?

Ew. I feel so cliche. I'm about to have a night of sex with the ex, again. I need to stop doing this or else this whole wrongness of fucking my ex won't be fun anymore.

I'm back from champagne drinking and more with the favorite ex. It was nice. We have plans again tomorrow, day. Why am I excited? This is so wrong. I'm going to be tasteful for once and not tell about the good sex. I'll save that for tomorrow.
For now I'll tell you about why false eyelashes suck...
I NEVER use fake eyelashes Actually i don't really like fake anything, exept for tans, but not the orange tans, the nice bronzy ones. So I wanted to look extra good, bc everyone likes looking extra good when seeing ex's. So I brought out the fake eytelashes. I'm an idiot and managed to glue the inner corners of my left eye together. I was flipping out bc I coldn't get it open unless I ripped my real lashes out, which I didn't want to do. After much panic, I thought to use eyemakeup remover, which worked. I was relieved, but very pissed that my beautiful makeup was totally ruined, and that I had to start over from scratch.
Basically the lesson is: IF YOU EVER GLUE YOUR EYE SHUT, RUB THE OILIEST, GREASIEST EYE MAKEUP REMOVER THAT YOU OWN ALL OVER YOUR EYE, AND THEN RINSE.

My favorite ex boyfriend is visiting NYC for the holidays and he wants to "hang out" tonight. Even though everyone is very stressed out beacuse of this ugly strike I'm not letting this chaos get to me and I am going to go out with him tonight. I'm going to get very drunk and then I will blame any stupid actions that I may commit tonight on alcohol. I'm taking him to this cute champagne bar in tribecca called the Bubble Lounge. The perfect place for both of us to get tipsy so that we can both take full advantage later. yay. he's big.

this past weekend was interesting. on Sat. I went to Balthazar again. This place is quickly becoming my new favorite, replacing Butter. I reccomend the Balthazar salad. Before and immediately after my only non-alcholoic meal of the day I went shopping in Soho. Shopping was fun, especially because someone else was buying me everything that I wanted, including some cute stuff at VS and LV. After shopping I saw Brokeback Mountain again b/c I love the homosexal love affair, which reminds myself of how much I'm missing out. It's been much too long since I've had any activity with a girl and I seriously need to get on that soon. After the movie I went partying at Lolita, a cute bar thingy in the LES, because it was a VIP's b-day. It's currently Sunday night and as of now I'm not out. Everyone is being silly and studying for finals, and I'm not going out solo. It looks like I just might stay in for a change. It's freezing out anyways so I don't feel too bad.

Today is one of my favorite people's birthday. So.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! She's still not sure where the partys at tonight, but there will be one, and I will be there. She's also having a huge party on Weds. night, which I'll be at too, and yes, I will report back with all of the details.

Sample sale-ing was a semi success. First I hit up soho and was so proud at how every purchase was like under $60 and celebrated by taking myself to eat at Balthazar. Then I went uptown to another sale and got a cute bag. Then I blew it. I was so close to Bloomingdales so I went in just for frozen yogurt at the café which turned into me trying on everything by Diane Von Furstenberg. I settled on a cute wrap dress and totally ruined me being thrifty for a day.
Also I developed an obsession with all books by Jay McInery and Bret Easton Ellis and recommend their books to everyone who is as jaded and fucked up as I am.

After last post I got into a trashy (yet expensive) lingere mood and went to http://www.agentprovocateur.com/
their stuff is the cutest. If I saw a girl wearing their shit i'd be turned on. I especially like the lines "Top Hat" http://www.agentprovocateur.com/top_hat.php minus those tassle tit things, and "Fifi" http://www.agentprovocateur.com/fifi.php minus the frilly thing. Their so unecessary. I mean don't they just get in the way?

Tomorrow is a sample sale day for me. First I'm hitting up one on Crosby St in Soho, then the Proenza Schouler sale on Walker St. and then the Tatiana sale on 61st. and lex. I really wish that Agent Provocateur would have a sale soon bc I need some new bras and thongs to wear when I need to look hot for someone. Shopping is such a guilty pleasure, but sample sale-ing takes away the guilty part and just delivers the peasure. Plus it's like 1/3 of retail so you get 3 times the shit. this is why I love Ny so much.